Saturday, March 14, 2009
I came across this little piece of such great wisdom & I'd like to share it with you all because I was so stunned when I read it! I FELT AS IF SOMEBODY HAD GONE INTO MY MIND & TOOK MY THOUGHTS! LOL I've always felt his way & more so now that I'm approaching MY 55th birthday! YAY! I have anticipated this day for the past few years (LOL!) because now I can have my 20% discount at my favorite stores! hehehe! I am so excited, you can't imagine!! LOL! Anyway, I have ALWAYS said that you're only as old as you feel & I don't know what 55 feels like anyhow, so I must be having fun! LOL! Does that make any sense at all? I'm constantly surrounded by grandchildren & they sure do keep me young! They range in age from 4yrs old up to 19yrs old, so I have great fun playing "mental volleyball" when they're around, you know, never ending switching gears! LOL! So please take the time to read this:
*The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.
Old Age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And sometimes I am taken aback by that person that lives in my mirror but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the import ant things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?
But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).
And tonight, I will eat dessert!